To have what you want, give-up whats holding you back

To have what you want, give-up whats holding you backTo have what you want, give-up whats holding you backIf you pay attention to your life, youll begin to landsee the patterns.In 2005, the National Science Foundation published an article showing that the average person has between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 80% are negative and 95% are exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before.The things running through your head are the same things that were running through your head yesterday.The conversations youre having with yourself are the same conversations youve been having with yourself.You know what to do.You know what you want.Said Tim Grover in his book, Unstoppable, Dont think. You already know what you have to do, and you know how to do it. Whats stopping you?Fear of the unknown is the foundation of all fearsAccording to some scholars, fear of the unknown is likely the foundation of all other fears. In order to avoid the unknown, most people bail on the ir dreams in exchange for remaining in lives they hateIn the mega-selling book (over 6 1000000 sold), The Easy Way To Quit Smoking, Allen Carr explains that one of the primary reasons people stay in addiction is because they fear the unknown. Even though people know their addiction is literally killing them, it has become their homeostasis. To not be in the addiction is frightening, because you have no idea what that looks or feels like anymora.Even though you KNOW life could be fundamentally better, you hold tightly to what you have. You hold on to what you have while knowing that it is the very thing stopping you from getting what you really want.And so the thoughts recur, daily. 95% of those thoughts and cycles continue, all the while you intuitively know that you are making a fools bargain.Youre giving up your dreams and your greatest potential for something you know isnt serving you.Professional film-maker, Casey Neistat put it this way, What is the ultimate quantification of s uccess? For me, its not how much time you spend doing what you love. Its how little time you spend doing what you hate.Openness to new experiencesThink positively about yourself. ask God who made you to keep on remaking you. - Norman Vincent Peale, The Power Of Positive ThinkingWhen you open yourself to new experiences, you open yourself to change. Obviously, being open to new experiences is hard. In order for you to truly be open, you must be humble.You must be open to being changed. You must be willing to absorb what your new experiences make of you.The Latin root of humility is connected to earth, ground, and soil.The words humility and humidity are very closely connected.Humidity is the moisture.Humility is the soil.Humble soil ABSORBS the moisture. Non-humble soil is hard and unable to accept all of the nutrients the humidity is trying to give it.Your life is talking to you.Its been talking to you for a long time.Youve seen the signals.Youve had the conversations over and over in your head.You could continue having this conversation for the rest of your life and remain in your safety zone. But if you did, youd always have the regret. Youd always wonder what might have been. Youd always know you could have had something better. And that you chose the lesser path.Dan Sullivan of Strategic Coach once said, The moment you have arrived is the perfect time to start out again.Even success can become a block to future success. Its easy to hold on to a particular role or identity that youve formulated for yourself. Dan Sullivan also explains happiness comes when your future is bigger than your past.In order for your future to be bigger than your past, you must move beyond it. You must stop living in your pastLet it go.Let it be what it was - the good and the bad.Take everything youve learned from it, but dont be defined by it. If you want something much bigger and better, youll have to do things differently. Said Marshall Goldsmith, What got you here wont get yo u there.Similarly, Leonardo DiCaprio said, Every next level of your life will require a different you.You can make this change.You can give up what you have for what you want.Create a list of everything you want in exchange for what you must give upThere are two main types of motivation push and pull.Push motivation is a behavior that an individual forces themselves to complete in order to satisfy a need or achieve a goal.Pull motivation is a behavior that an individual feels drawn towards.Push motivation is rough. Its exhausting, depleting, and requires constant willpower, which quickly burns-out.Pull motivation is much more powerful. It draws you forward, and actually gives you more energy while youre doing it.If you want to make permanent change, you cant do it by pushing. Instead, you need to be pulled. Dr. David Hawkins said there is a potent difference between power and force. Forcing things to happen complicates and ultimately breaks them down. Power, on the other hand, comes from doing what you know you should. Come what may. In order to have power, you must have courage. You must do what is right and for the right reasons. You must draw upon powers beyond your own.I recently pulled out my journal and began thinking of the recurring thoughts that have been running through my head.As someone who constantly seeks change, luckily, many of my thoughts are not recurring.Im constantly meeting new people, working on new projects, reading new books, and engaging in new environments.I seek heavily to create new and transformational experiences constantly.However, there are still a few recurring thoughts I have yet to address. There are things I know are holding me back from the life I truly want.So I made a list of EVERYTHING I wanted in my life.EVERYTHING I could think of.It was a huge list.I wrote about my family and the welfare, health, and success of my children. My wife and I recently adopted three kids who we fought for in court for three years.Now my wif e is pregnant with twins Its crazy.I wrote about how I wanted my kids to be happy, healthy, and successful.I wrote about all of my financial dreams. And my career dreams. And my health dreams. I wrote about the person I wanted to become and the life I wanted to live. I wrote about all the people I wanted to help.By the end of all of this, I had a huge list.I loved looking at that list.Then I thought about the recurring thoughts and patterns.Am I willing to give up what Ive got in order to have something better? I asked myself.Yes.Yes, I am.Are you?Ready to upgrade?Ive created a cheat sheet for putting yourself into a PEAK-STATE, immediately. You follow this daily, your life will change very quickly.Get the cheat sheet hereThis column first appeared on Medium.